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10 Reasons Why People Think DJ/Producers Are Dumbasses

It is funny to make fun of DJ’s, producers, rappers and other musicians. Here are ten situations when they act like dumbasses.

In this industry you have to have thick skin if you want to make it. Here are some of the ways DJ/producers, rappers and other artists act like dumbasses in a public setting.

They Never Went to College

Clean Bandit, top selling music group, tweets that they hate participating in capitalism

Top-selling music group Clean Bandit tweets that they hate capitalism.

A lot of musicians didn’t go to college. So they miss out on critical classes about economics and business. Then they say something like, “I hate participating in capitalism,” when they don’t understand what that word means. If you have made millions of dollars selling concert tickets and music files, then you are definitely a capitalist. It is not the same as being a political conservative. You are making a fool of yourself by acting like a communist. You just got told by a slutty raver!

They Only Talk About Music

"Trying to pick which of the first 3 Maxwell albums is the best is as impossible as for Mobb Deep or De La." -- A-Trak

A-Trak quote about music.

Most people in the world do not work in the music industry. To them the music business is a very small part of their lives. There are a lot of things in life that are more important than the music industry, such as family and staying alive during an emergency. But no matter what happens artists only share music industry related posts or selfies. If they do post about disaster or emergency, it is only one that all the other artists are posting about, and not any of the other horrible news.

They Assume You’re a Huge Fan

Since most people don’t know about the music industry they act like fans. That does not mean that everyone is a huge fan. It is not wise to assume you are the coolest person someone has ever met. They might be acting polite because they think that is the way a fan should act. Or it is possible they are acting obsequiously in order to get you to like them. Or maybe they are just a nice person. Don’t be a delusional, pussy-grabbing date rapist like Donald Trump or Harvey Weinstein.

They Charge $600 for a Hoodie

Chloma + Virtual Self Human-ERROR:Lament Black Unisex Anorak by Porter Robinson

$550 Porter Robinson anorak.

It is also vain to assume someone wants to overpay for a jacket simply because it has your band’s logo on it. It is even dumber to claim that a portion of the proceeds will go to help cancer patients in Malawi, and then not go into any further detail, even when people ask you reasonable questions about it. Because there is a famine in Malawi and the average income is $100 to $200 per year. This anorak probably sold out because they could only afford to make a handful.

They Hit Fans up for Money

popping bottles at sky room new york with a sparkler

Image by Sky Room New York.

DJ/producers get to travel all over the world and go to resorts and nightclubs for free. They spend all their money on designer clothes and photographers. Then they run out of money because something bad happens. So they start asking their fans to participate in a fundraiser so they can finance a new album. Or they have the nerve to ask that you not ask for refunds to cancelled shows, where they charge you hundreds of dollars just to sit down. And a bottle of vodka is sold at a 500% markup. You didn’t care when we were down and out you self-proclaimed socialist.

One-in-Five Have Herpes

lil wayne bedrock music video

Young Money “Bed Rock” music video clip.

All of those DJ’s, producers and rappers date the same hoes. There is a famous song about that. And when you have unprotected sex with someone, you are sleeping with everyone they slept with before you. Usher, R. Kelly and more celebrities have been publicly diagnosed with herpes and other STI’s. Therefore a lot of these guys must have herpes. It is like Austin Powers says, “They should (wear a condom), the dirty buggers, they fly around from port to port!”

They Only Date Models

Diplo has dated so many models he turned into one.

Artists only want to date models because they have a lot of Instagram followers, so they can help them build a following. They act like dating a model is the best thing ever because they are physically attractive on the outside. But models are insecure people by way of their trade, because they have people judging their appearance all the time. So they develop eating disorders and post too many selfies, because they need the validation. They aren’t necessarily smart or interesting. So it is actually super sexist to only date models, and you could get herpes.

They Get in Stupid Fights

If you get to fly around the world and wear designer clothes, don’t assault the guy at the airport who makes $8 per hour. He is probably in a bad mood already because he is not making a fair wage. If a fan is upset because you never responded to their social media post, just say thank you. Don’t publicly shame them on your social media feed. Most of your fans are going to identify with the person working a 9 to 5. You are branding yourself as a douchebag.

They Only Share Propaganda

An artist will often re-post a news article about themselves, if it was published by a media organization that is well known, or has a lot of followers. Most mainstream music magazines and radio stations suck, and are completely out of date. But influencers share them anyway because it is a well known media organization, and it makes them look good. Then the artists all complain about how they hate music critics, and they never read the reviews because they suck.

They Won’t Read or Share Blogs

If a music blogger only listened to music by people with a lot of followers, influence and clout, then no one would ever get discovered. But musicians will only read blogs by media organizations with a lot of followers, influence and clout. They never take the time to check to see if the blog is actually well written. They accuse the blogger of using them instead of saying thank you for helping to promote their music. Even though a blogger is a fan who took the time to produce something.

Being a DJ/producer might seem cool because of all the traveling and music. But there are a lot of pitfalls to avoid along the way. And you should definitely go to college if you want to be more successful in marketing yourself to the public. At least take an online class or something, damn!