TOKiMONSTA’s new video for “I Wish I Could” with Selah Sue was the first song she wrote after brain surgery when she regained the ability to communicate.
The new music video for “I Wish I Could” featuring Selah Sue is about a female doctor who is frustrated with the American healthcare system. It is inspired by TOKiMONSTA or Jennifer Lee’s recent experience with a rare brain disease called Moyamoya. “I Wish I Could” was the first song Lee wrote after brain surgery, which left her temporarily unable to speak or compose music.
The music video premiered on the official Pitchfork YouTube channel. It was directed by Mitchell deQuilettes. The story follows a female doctor during the course of a day working at a hospital. She seems really frustrated with the healthcare system, but in the end there is hope for reform.
Lee said, “It means a lot to me to finally put visuals to a song that is so significant to me. After undergoing two brain surgeries and being unable to create, this song was the very first song I was able to complete upon my recovery,” in an exclusive interview with Pitchfork.
Moyamoya is a rare disorder caused by blocked arteries in the base of the brain. TOKiMONSTA had to undergo two surgeries to have the blockage removed. In a personal essay she wrote that afterwards, she was unable to comprehend speech or send text messages, and that music no longer made sense to her. When she opened up Ableton she could not remember how to use it. Her boyfriend broke up with her shortly after this. Then she wrote this song with Belgian singer songwriter Selah Sue.
The very first successful song I wrote after this whole ordeal was “I Wish I Could Be.” I wrote the instrumental and finally felt a sense of completion, like, “I’m back! This is a good song.” I was given that glimmer of hope that everything would be fine. “I Wish I Could Be” features Selah Sue on the vocal component. I’ve still never met her in person or spoken with her on the phone, but we communicated over email. I was very forthright and told her my whole situation. She was going through her own personal hardship. We had never communicated with each other before, but we became friends, sending long emails back and forth. She made a point to write lyrics that were meaningful to me, but that were meaningful to everyone, too.
The track was first released on TOKiMONSTA’s third studio length album Lune Rouge last October 2017. The LP was released under her label Young Art Records, although she has been affiliated with Ultra, OWSLA and Brainfeeder in the past. Stream or download Lune Rouge here.
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